Last Sunday I saw the movie Up. I haven't been to the theater in a long time and it was a real treat.
It was fantastic. Not a children's movie at all, but for me it hit me in a place deep down. I really think you are exposed to things at specific times for a reason. And it was the right time for me to see this movie.
A couple gets married, enjoys life and gets ready to move onto the next step, children. We find out that children aren't in the cards for them and they continue to move on. A childhood dream of the wife is to visit Paradise Falls, somewhere in South America. Due to circumstances they don't make it. After she dies, the man decides it is his mission to go there to live that dream for them.
The movie is about living your life to the fullest, no matter what life brings you, even if it isn't what you or society believes it should be.
As a women in her mid-30s I can feel that. Children haven't happened for me and my husband and may never. While around me babies are being born left and right to family, friends and acquaintances. This is deeply painful. And with no health insurance at this time and no extra money, infertility treatments and adoption are out of the question. And to hear people ask you when you are having kids or hearing them announce they are pregnant can wound deeply. But you have to smile and move on.
I have started coming to terms with living my life to the fullest with or without children. And I have to stop waiting around and be active in my life to bring more meaning to it in other ways. To figure out what God wants for me. So I've been asked to join the Parish Council at my church, a leadership role, and I've accepted. I'll paint the spare room whatever color I want because pink or blue might not be in the cards. I'll take care of my health because I want to live and live well. I'll spoil the children born around me because it's right. And I'll be sensitive to others who are dreaming of children but haven't achieved it. Because it's a personal thing and no one has the right to make you feel unworthy, less of a woman or a man. And it's not about them, it's about you and your adventures in life.
2 comments:
Hey girl, i totally respect your ability to be so honest with your feeling on here : D, maybe paint the room light green??, it goes with anything, any one, : D. Your right, just keep busy!! life is full of surprises, God has his plan for all of us : D, but i think your going to make a wonderfful mother one of these days. : D love ya, Dawn : D
As someone who experienced first hand the constant questions from family and friends "So when are you going to have kids? What are you waiting for?", let me just say that having a child is NOT the end-all-be-all of life. Do not measure yourself against anyone else's experiences/accomplishments. There is so much more to you (to anyone) than simply being a parent, daughter, wife, friend, etc. You have so many gifts that are meant to be shared with the world. Now is your chance to share them in your new position in the church. Have you thought about volunteering to be a Big Sister, or maybe a tutor for a student in need? There are many children in this world who need a positive, strong, smart, capable female role model -- I can think of no one better for the task than you.
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